Monday, January 12, 2009

Why?

Why is one of the hardest questions to answer, but I guess I'll give it a shot. Why do I love writing? Why do I want to write?

I'm a young girl, I'm at a very awkward age where I'm beginning to discover who I am and what I want to do(I am just two years away from college if you put it into perspective..) but at this age, I know what my passion is.

Why do I know? Because I've been through a lot. I've seen my grades go from stellar to almost failing and I've been criticized, teased endlessly, used and treated like trash. I want people older than me right now and people older than I was at this age when I finally become a real writer to know that being a teenager isn't just all about boys and growing up and being insecure about yourself.

Sure, fine, I'm very insecure but the reason is past the fact that my body isn't skinny and it's not this and it's not that. Someone used me, made me believe she was a nice person and then just threw me on the ground when she was done using me. She made me isolate myself from my friends then, thinking they were on her side when they actually weren't and she made me miserable, made me blame myself for what she did.

The only thing that kept me sane during that period was writing. If it weren't for my journal, I wouldn't be sitting here and writing about how much I want to follow my dreams. Black would've turned into my favorite color and I would most probably stop smiling, stop listening to happy music and stop doing all the things I'm doing right now.

Writing helps me through the times when I feel I'm so alone, it helps me through problems I don't want other people to know about and I want to let people realize that life isn't what someone tells you it is, it's about learning what it is for yourself, experiencing things and coming to your own conclusion about what it actually is.

I want people to stop thinking of Gossip Girl when they say young girls and realize that girls like me have dreams, have passions and won't just give those away just because they say they're too young.

I sure won't.

So that's it. I've answered the question, it's time for me to get to bed, I've got to be up at five tomorrow morning!

2 comments:

Mel said...

Well put, hun. Writing is such a good and positive outlet for your feelings -- its something I've learned as well. You should try writing lyrics. Songs are best when they are from the heart.

Ken said...

Oh. Good luck with your writing. I so want to be a writer before but then everything all started to change. I didn't know you're still in HS though. :))

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