A few things..

I have tons of things on my mind, as a lot of kids my age would have but for some strange reason I think my thoughts are a lot more serious and convoluted than most of them.

I'm thinking about that Palanca. Joining it got me really excited but at one point I almost gave up trying to re-write my entry to make it a 'personal essay'. I got really frustrated that even listening to music(which works like 99% of the time) didn't help me - I was really agitated but then I thought, why not write about the reason I'm joining? So I did and it worked. I got my concept, I wrote the essay in one day and sent it off last April.

Winning a Palanca Award will not only put me on the map as a writer, give my school some needed money and get me into college, it'll jump start my future - it will tell me whether or not I'm a good writer. I want other people to call me a good writer because all my life I've always been second or third, I've never been the best. No one has ever told me I'm the best or I'm good and I want that.

A few hours ago my cousin told me that she always thought I'd be the celebrity out of us five(I have four cousins who're really close to me since I don't have any siblings..) and I was shocked. I never thought about me being a famous writer - I just wanted to be really good but what she said kinda encouraged me.

I haven't had that much encouragement from the elders in my family so to know that my cousins actually care about what I want to do and think I actually have a shot at doing it really means a lot to me.

A lot of things mean a lot but for me support from my family - the people I want to impress the most is the most important. I joined the Palanca to show them I'm just as good as they are(two of my cousins are doctors, one is a molecular biologist and the other one works as an executive for Citibank. Go figure..) and that just because I don't want to go into science or math it doesn't mean that I'm not good.